#and it brings me joy and I have fun doing it

[cosmicalily]

"written by the aces" - a mini series by @cosmicalily. view series masterlist, and outline here

4. "i've loved you for so long" | hwang hyunjin x fem!reader

You're taking me back, babe, to where it all started, wearing your hair up in your New York apartment, I swear, I've loved you for so long, I'd do it again and again and again and again, baby

author's note: okay so fun fact the left photo in this header is actually a pic of a picnic i went on with my friend that i took off my pinterest (ee if you wanna look at it here's the link! my pinterest is my pride and joy). i've had this fic in my drafts for ages, i adore this song and it feels SO undeniably hyunjin, i hope you enjoy!!

There were always questions as to how a broke artist afforded an apartment in New York City.

You had reasons. You worked almost every possible hour outside of the studio at a local coffee shop, and had sold several of your favourite possessions, including your prized guitar handed down from your mother. You worked hard for what you had, and you appreciated it more so that way.

That’s always how it had been. You worked hard enough for something, you’d eventually get there.

Hwang Hyunjin came from a wealthier background and also lived in an apartment in New York City, albeit much more beautiful than yours. He was beautiful, and not in any way snobby as you’d expect. He felt very deeply, and translated it into his artwork. 

He knew that if he wanted something, he’d get it, reasonably quickly. But he didn’t like things that way. 

He loved the anticipation, the slow burn, the pining and wishing and hoping, which was exactly how he felt about you.

He didn’t want his own expensive personal studio. He used the local art space, which was available to rent for a few hours each day. That was where he first saw you. All of you.

You and your posture that gave you back aches when you sat sketching for too long, the way you bit your lip when you were deep in thought, your habit of tucking your hair behind your ears only for it to flop forward again within the next few seconds. He was fascinated by you, but he preferred admiring from a distance for the moment. He didn’t want to push forward or scare you away.

You thought he was one of the prettiest people you’d seen. He seemed so comfortable with his masculinity that he wasn’t afraid to step into his feminine side, wearing his hair a little longer, dressing a little more form-fitting. His lips were plush and sometimes scarred from where he nibbled on them, and he had brown eyes, so dark yet so warm, as if they’d melt you if you stared into them for a little too long.

It wasn’t as if you ever shared a conversation before he left New York. Even though you spent a lot of time together, it was comfortable silence. You sat, on opposite ends of the studio, working on your projects, trying to avoid catching each others eyes. One time though, when you walked past to go wash your paintbrush, you accidentally brushed against him, and he noticed.

The way your cheeks flushed, and your small smile.

Hwang Hyunjin didn’t expect his life to bring him back to New York City, although perhaps a part of him had always hoped it would.

He’d spent years travelling Europe, visiting art galleries and staying in beautiful apartments and villas, swimming in the ocean in the summer and taking photos of the mountains in the winter. He was inspired constantly, and filled his life with art, food, gorgeous views and wine.

He’d gotten to a point in his life where it was expected he would be married, or at least have entered a long-term relationship. Although he met some of the prettiest people he’d ever seen, he never pursued further than dinner and a kiss on the cheek. 

He thought about you, and the way your cheeks flushed, and your small smile.

Your hair, piled up on your head in a way that was not at all structurally sound, letting fronds flop into your eyes and around your neck and collarbone.

He returned to New York a little while after he’d stayed in Paris, and spent time looking for an apartment. He’d been connected with a real estate agent, one that sold high-end apartments uptown. He decided to walk up instead of catching a taxi, and whilst walking past the studio where you’d first seen each other, he saw an advert in the window.

You were looking for a roommate, and applications were due by 5pm.

You stood on the other side of the apartment, your hair pulled up with a piece of blue-and-white gingham ribbon, taken off the wrapping of the book Hyunjin had bought you for your birthday. You wore a long denim skirt and pale yellow bralette, with lace around the edges and a soft pattern of tiny lemons across it, with one of Hyunjin’s white linen shirts over the top, unbuttoned and blowing in the wind that came through the opened window in the kitchen.

Hyunjin lay still in bed, flat on his stomach, admiring you from afar the way he always did. Even after two years, where all he’d done was live, breathe and love you, there were moments where he liked to remember how he’d fallen for you in the first place.

There were also moments where he wanted to be as close to you as possible. He shifted off the bed and walked over, wrapping his arms around your waist and pressing his face into your hair.

“Did you want to go out today?” he mumbled into your hair. “I feel bad that we stayed at home all day again; there’s not much point to weekends if we don’t do anything, is there?”

You looked up at him. “I didn’t really want to. I prefer being at home, anyway.”

“Good, because I didn’t want to either,” he smiled, pressing a kiss onto your shoulder. “Even though we don’t talk all the time…”

“I like our silence. We don’t feel like we have to say anything,” you finished, turning yourself around from where you were facing the kitchen bench and placing your arms around his waist. He shifted his to your shoulders, and pulled you in close, so you were flush against his chest.

“I’ve loved you for so long,” Hyunjin murmured, his forehead against yours, noses touching.

“You don’t just say it,” you whispered. “You show it. And that’s even more beautiful, I think.”

“I’ve loved you since I first saw you. And I know that you know, but I just want to remind you, that you’re what I’ve dreamed of for so long, and what I’ve wanted without realising.”

“You talk a lot sometimes, my love.”

“I mean everything I say. I like to talk about you. I like to talk to you.”

You cupped his face with your hands and brought your lips to his.

taglist: @hyunjiiza @velvetmoonlght @s3ungm1nxxl0ve @btch8008s @yaniluvs @ellemir2404 @bellarellasstuff @starsinagreenskyxx @ashtxrie @pigeonseatmayo @modesttiger @woozarts - comment, dm or send an ask to be added!

[glowettee]

✧ 5 journaling prompts for clarity✧

hey lovelies! 🎀✨

journaling has this magical way of helping us untangle our thoughts and bring clarity to what’s swirling in our minds. if you’re feeling a little stuck, overwhelmed, or just in need of some dreamy self-reflection, here are 5 journaling prompts for clarity that will have you glowing from the inside out. i personally use these prompts for myself, and they really help. ✧

1. what’s been on my mind lately?

this is your chance to let it all out. what’s taking up space in your brain? maybe it’s a project you’re procrastinating, a dream you can’t stop thinking about, or even a random convo that’s stuck with you. (pro tip: don’t filter yourself, this is just for you.) writing it all down can help you figure out what’s truly important and what you’re ready to let go of.

2. what are my biggest goals right now?

your goals are like your north star, they guide you towards your dream life. write them out, even if they feel or sound a little big or scary! even if it’s acing that exam, starting a new hobby, or creating a routine that feels amazing, this is the moment to get super clear about what you want. and remember, your goals don’t have to be perfect, they just need to feel right for you.

3. what’s holding me back?

okay, time for a little tough love (but in the gentlest, coziest way). what’s standing between you and your goals? is it fear? a lack of time? self-doubt? be honest with yourself, and remember: identifying the blocks is the first step to moving past them. oh, and don’t forget to sprinkle in some compassion. everyone has things they’re working through.

4. what makes me happiest?

this one is a total vibe booster. think about the little (and big) things that light you up. could it be your morning coffee ritual? late-night convos with your bestie? the feeling of finishing a good book? write it all down, and let it remind you that joy is all around you, waiting to be noticed. ✨

5. what does my dream life look like?

now for the fun part. close your eyes and picture your ideal life. what does it feel like? what are you doing? who are you with? where are you living? let yourself dream as big as you want here. (pro tip: the more detailed, the better.) this is the blueprint for your glow-up.

bonus tips:

make your journaling session feel special: cozy blankets, soft music, and your favorite pen.

don’t stress about perfect grammar or spelling. this is just for you!

revisit your answers every so often. you’ll be amazed at how much clarity and progress you’ll see.

xoxo, mindy <3

[meimeimeirin]

still on tumblr break, but since i just logged in and saw several asks, i thought i'd clarify a few things here.

regarding me and @/zhongrin

in summary:

zhongrin is privated and archived permanently.

for the two people who asked, yeah, i'm alright.

more utc, but you can skip.

to expand more on the 'sudden' archiving/privating:

i've been debating to archive the blog since last year. to tell the truth, the new theme that appeared in zhongrin since september last year was actually the theme of a new writing sideblog i made. honestly, i had contemplated archiving it since july ー and i've lost count over how many times i created a 'blog archived' post only to delete it, over and over again. i just held on like an idiot and kept telling myself to just post and dip out.

don't look at the activity bar, it's just going to be full of likes. don't look at the notes, i'll just be full of more empty likes. don't look at the reblogs, it won't have any feedback anyway. don't look into your inbox, you won't find any feedback whatsoever anyway. don't look at your dash, lest you'll see other people getting interactions and start wondering if you're the weirdo for not getting any. don't look. don't look. don't look.

i'm just so tired of being disappointed.

it's like writing out a play and 10k people reserved seats to your free performance, yet all you see are thousands of absent seats. all you receive are silent smiles. a few applauses. and less than ten people commenting on the play, most of which are your own friends.

every time i post, i start questioning why did i even bother sharing this. or if i'm even actually good enough at writing. or if that comment was just there out of pity. or if i should have used the time i spent writing, proofreading, and editing to do something else. something that would have brought more joy. something that would result in more than a few strung words on a digital screen that no one thinks is worth sharing.

every time i post, it just feels like i just did something meaningless. every time i do events or bring my ocs to the spotlight, every time i'm having so much fun, people leave and it gets even more silent. my thoughts? my expectations? my joy? my sadness? meaningless. they're all meaningless to these ten thousand people.

why should i keep sharing and doing something that feels meaningless and hopeless?

so i stopped caring and archived. that's all there is to it.

i do have that new writing blog set up. way back since last year. because as much as i loathe the silence, i still love writing. sometimes.

as of today, that blog is still devoid of original posts. i don't know when or if i'll feel comfortable posting my own 'content' again. or maybe i never will. who knows. but if i do, this time, i'm setting things up so i can just be the 'content creator' that readers expect me to be and distance myself from everything.

call me childish. call me jaded. call me a bitch. i don't care. i don't want to try connecting with my readers anymore because tumblr as a community has stopped being a system that can do this. i'm just going to give myself the option of making content and dipping out whenever i want. i'm going to spend my energy having fun with my friends who does care - on a separate, more controlled environment altogether.

this will still be my main since i don't want to bother setting up a new account and re-following people again. but i won't be active here. i foresee i'll be more 'present' in my private blog. for those who does have the url ー please keep it a secret. thanks.

bye, zhongrin. it started out fun. it's a shame it ended on a bitter note. i truly wish it hadn't turned out this way.

signing off once again, meirin.

[putschki1969]

Kalafina Anniversary Live 2025 Pamphlet HQ Scans Part 1

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Google Drive Link

👉  For PERSONAL USE ONLY 👉  CREDIT me and LINK to my blog if you use/share 👉  SUPPORT Kalafina | BUY the pamphlet

Interview with Keiko

--This will be Kalafina's first live performance in about seven years. How did you feel when you found out that the concert was going to be held?

“After each of us had pursued our solo activities, all I felt was a sense of joyful anticipation when it was decided that the three of us would be able to sing together again. I had always been following the other two's activities during the time we were apart so it felt like those seven years had passed before I knew it. Right now, I'm singing with a sense of purpose but originally I wasn't really interested in going solo, instead I was looking for a place where I could make use of my distinctive voice and feel needed. For me, Kalafina was a perfect match for what I was looking for so it's a great joy to be able to sing with the two of them again.”

--How did you feel when the three of you first got together to sing during a live rehearsal?

“Everyone was nervous for about 30 minutes on the first day of rehearsal and I think we were all looking at each other's singing, seeking some sort of confirmation, like 'how long should this note be?' Of course we have the music sheets to rely on but Kalafina's live performances are made up of a lot of improvisations created by the three of us working together. So even during rehearsals we don't just sing everything according to the music sheets. There were moments when we silently tried to gauge each other's feelings about certain sections, like, 'I'm sure we stretched this part out, didn't we?' or 'We should sing this part differently from the music sheet, right?' All of this made me think, 'Ah yes, that is Kalafina! It feels so good to be back!' I honestly had a lot of fun.”

--It's heartwarming, right? The way you can communicate without saying anything is made possible because the three of you have been working together for such a long time.

“And as soon as we remembered the way we used to feel there was no longer any need to check on each other. It really is as they say, once you get your body used to doing something, it's not easy to forget, no matter how much time passes.”

--Did you notice any changes in your singing style after doing many different things for six years?

“Of course there are aspects which are different but when all three of us come together to sing Kalafina songs, we naturally adjust our vocal power and vocalisation techniques to bring us closer to Kalafina's style, so to be honest, it felt like we were the same as before but maybe that's just my opinion. Actually, before rehearsals started, I thought that since we were getting together again after pursuing our solo activities, our singing style might change completely. But that wasn't the case at all, I felt like all three of us were cherishing the feeling of singing Kalafina songs.”

--You were able to get back on track so quickly because you had Kalafina's music as your base.

“Yes, I think so. In recent years, all three of us have been trying out a variety of songs and styles as soloists, searching for new ways of vocalisation and expression, but when it comes to Kalafina's music, we have already perfected a harmonious singing voice, so it was simply a matter of going back to our roots, this specific sound that's ingrained in us. From my perspective, I think the other two are singing in a different way than when they are doing their solo stuff.”

--What do you think of Wakana and Hikaru's vocal appeal?

“Once again, I realised that both of their voices have a solid presence. Kalafina's songs are centered around vocals and their most unique feature is a difficult melody that's hard to maintain. That's why if the voices don't have a strong presence, the impression of the vocals fades. Especially in the parts where our voices are not overlapping, or there's a transition between one voice and the other or even just a change of melody, if each voice doesn't have a strong presence, it will get drowned out. There is no such weakness in their vocals. And when I add my lower harmonies, I'm able to further highlight the greatness of the lyrics and melody. I was able to once again feel that beautiful balance between us.”

--All of Kalafina's songs have a unique worldview. Because it is so well-constructed, it's easy to get immersed in the world of those songs, isn't it?

“Every time we sing a song, I feel like a switch is turned on and I get carried away on a flood of emotions. Also, even the soft parts in the interludes can actually be important phrases that lead to a greater development, I think that's the appeal of Kalafina songs, the tension just continues uninterrupted. During these rehearsals, I realised once again that Kalafina's music is one-of-a-kind.”

--Even when you listen to it, it makes you want to hold your head up high and straighten your back. What are your feelings towards your fans right now?

“We are filled with so much gratitude that everyone can spend this moment with us, a moment that feels like a dream come true when we are finally able to sing together one more time. Everyone has their own feelings and associations when it comes to Kalafina's music, whether it's about specific songs, about an album, or how our activities have overlapped with their own lives. A live concert is when people with all kinds of feelings come together and enjoy music in the same space, and I think that in itself is a miracle. As the concert is being held in January, we want it to be a night of hope and a new start.”

--The dresses for today's photo shoot are white and the atmosphere is bright.

“There's a strong sparkling and euphoric vibe, right? *laughs* The photographer and art director took so many wonderful shots that I think they must be magicians who can manipulate light. Light is one of Kalafina's keywords, be it a ray of light in the darkness, a light of hope in our hearts or a light pouring down from the sky, all sorts of expressions of light have appeared in our songs. I think the photos turned out to be very Kalafina-esque and really fit our image.”

[original-bookshelf]

Time for me to yap about these because we're about to get an updated character sheet for imp! Allan.

Okay, so first, the icon change here.

Allan's icon in the prime universe is very clearly a record, but it is also supposed to resemble a ward as well because two key components of his character are his love of music but also his desire and ability to protect others. The implied shielded portion is pointed to the left as that is implied to be him using his magic to help other people outside of himself.

His icon in the imperium universe is still meant to resemble a ward but you'll notice the crack in it now because his sense of self has been compromised. There's no center to it because as far as he's concerned, he does not have one and the lifeline that music provided for him in the prime universe was not there in the imperium universe. The ward is also pointed to the right as that implies more of a selfish usage of his magic despite him saying that he's doing it for the greater good.

Onto the personality stats!

Okay, so I filled these bits out with Allan's perception of himself. In the prime universe, Allan massively underestimates his intelligence but he's got a pretty accurate view of most of his other traits. He's more comfortable with himself in the prime universe and understands himself better.

In the imperium universe Allan has much less of an understanding of himself and so the personality stats are very inaccurate. The ones rated higher are the ones that he presents towards the world and gain him approval within the pack. In all actuality this man is incredibly loyal as has been demonstrated through his twisted relationship with Pidge, but also his friendship with Maddie. He does not like himself and he is not comfortable with himself either.

The moodboard/appearance section!

So this I had a lot of fun with because in both universes, Allan is very much characterized by what his job is. In the prime universe, it's joy and music and serving others and a lot of that shows up in the moodboard here. He's got color and the drum while being part of his enjoyment of music is also symbolic of the stability he wants to have and be for others.

In the imperium universe, it's been a lot of violence and searching that has characterized him and that reflects quite clearly in the moodboard itself, but there's also imagery of him being tied to somewhere out of a sense of duty as well. Loyalty is going to be a huge part of his arc as we move forward so this was definitely a bit of subtle foreshadowing.

And of course, we cannot forget the name!

We already know that in the imperium universe Allan goes almost exclusively by A or Cambell. This is literally apart of the commentary on dehumanization that has been going on in the background as well as an indicator of his view of himself because he is quite literally trying to diminish people's perception of him down to a member of his family, a tool, and a nonhuman thing. Because it's easier to do his job if he's able to forget that he is human.

In the prime universe, Allan goes by his name and he's made it his own by relating it back to things he enjoys. He still has his family's last name but he doesn't bring it up often and it's left there really as a formality more than anything else.

Tagging: @localpigeon22

[theiressence]

“No fun?” Her face was incredulous, her mouth dropping open in mock devastation. “I’ll have you know, I was squeezing into my childhood ugly Christmas sweater until I was twenty-five years old,” she revealed with a laugh. “It was a traumatic experience for me, okay?” Teasingly fanning away her tears, only to gently poke at the other’s arm. Keziah flashed him a smile, then shook her head when she glanced away. She’d left the Holiday Mingle for a reason — she needed a pick-me-up, and had gotten more than she bargained for. In a good way. Her eyes lifted to the clock on the wall, noticing the tinsel draped across different corners of the diner. Only looking at him when she processed his suggestion in its entirety, “Is that right?” She tucked her bottom lip between her teeth, narrowing her gaze, “Well, how ‘bout this? If you do all that, I’ll put it on. Just for you.” Her gaze dipped, taking in his expression, then mirroring it with her own matching grin.

A gasp fell from her lips, “Pancakes don’t have feelings, okay? I’m sure they’re happy as long as they’re eaten.” Her eyes drifted past him to the waitress that had taken her order, then back to him, “Well, maybe the pancakes and the kitchen crew back there. I’m sure they appreciate how much joy my fruit covered pancakes are going to bring me.” It’s always been easy for Keziah to fake niceties and conversation; she had to do it for years, but this — this was genuine. Upon noticing his smirk, her brow rose, leaning in just an inch, “No, you’re right. I wouldn’t want to end up on Nick’s naughty list, but…” She paused, resting her chin against a closed fist, “There are some naughty lists I’d make an exception for. Wouldn’t you?” Her voice dropped an octave, and she held his stare. Yeah, there were some naughty lists she’d make exempt.

While Bear would never criticize or really even comment on anyone's aversion to anything holiday related, he did find some amusement in teasing about it. That feeling displayed on his face, perhaps even his body language, as he stayed cozy and relaxed next to his company. "You've got no sense of fun," he playfully chastised with a shake of his head. The fauxness of his disapproval obvious. That's what the ugly Christmas sweaters said to him; people that knew how to have a laugh and engage in the silliness of the holiday season. Perhaps poke fun at it. That glance over his shoulder to the outside world beyond the warmth and satiated feeling the diner provided showed him the snow coverage and Bear could only hope it wouldn't get worse overnight. "I'll dress up one of my plain ugly sweaters if you want... throw some tinsel on it or wrap some lights around you." Pleased with his idea, he grinned at her.

As though he believed her Bear's head nodded along but the look in his eyes said he wasn't buying it. "I think the torture and abuse you're subjecting your pancakes to is evidence of the contrary." He held a hand midway between them as if to say the proof is right here. It was nice to sit here and have a silly conversation with someone easy to talk to and be around rather than home alone experiencing yet another holiday not understanding what it meant to everyone else. "Besides," a smirk took shape, "I wouldn't quite consider being on a naughty list to be a bad thing." Especially if any thought was put into who, why, and how the judgments were being passed.

[inquisimer]

this is insane. who am I. three years ago I was afraid to post ANYTHING and now we're here 😭 it feels really good

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Happy Birthday to Fallen London; My favourite British people beefing it with bats simulator.

[artuurle]

I really wanted to draw @clickety-clacker's Click clack and it ended up devolving really fast into sillies between their design and mine, apologies.

[necrotic-nephilim]

Tim's unternet suit really is the most glaringly obvious hero worship/crush for Dick thing he ever has. in the unternet, where Tim's subconscious creates what he is. that's the suit his brain comes up with? something so clearly derivative of Nightwing? down to the *finger stripes*?

red robin #19

this is gay as hell. the reason Tim can't wear this soul irl is bc the first thing he would do is jerk off in it. and he couldn't handle the embarrassment of Dick seeing how similar it is. if DC ever made this Tim's official suit the first thing they would have to do is make Tim and Dick fuck in it. i'm so close to writing that fic i won't lie.

[emily-mooon]

Doodled The Party in silly wizard outfits because it brings me joy.

[sskk-manifesto]

Bungou Stray Dogs: Dead Apple and how “ability users” (opposite to “normal people”) learning to accept themselves through the acceptance of their own abilities is a queer metaphor of acceptance of own's sexual orientation and gender: an essay by me

[thelittleredwitch]

Morton The Salt Lamp is unconcerned with your conventional methods of decoration.

Yes, the googly eyes are necessary for healing and growth

😁😁

[arom-antix]

Happy birthday to the blorbo himself!

[coaarchived]

Just a quick reminder!

There is no wrong way to enjoy a media.

Whether you are in it for the story, the characters, the gameplay, the community, whatever your priority may be— there is no wrong way to love a piece of work.

Yes, even if you make "inaccurate" headcanons for characters you love.

Yes, even if you are more into the aesthetics than any deeper meaning.

Yes, even if you only engage with it through playthroughs or video analysis other secondary sources.

In the end, you and all the other fans are together in loving and supporting a piece of work. If somebody enjoys the content in a way you personally don't want to see, simply block and move on! The only "wrong" way to be a fan is to be one who is malicious and hurtful to others and to real people.

[dahfloofysmol]

@totally-bing @the-real-google I made you guys something c:

I acknowledge that you guys are usually more murdey towards each other, but I saw something about a hate marriage (????) and couldn’t help myself